How to take care of yourself: Nurture and Grow

  Women of all demographics are susceptible to paying attention to the needs of others over their own. We are naturals at taking care of others; children, a spouse - - even aging parents. If you are a busy woman, perhaps it is time to ponder the question: Who is going to nurture you?


Identify whether you take enough care of yourself by completing the following quiz. If you answer "yes" to more than 3 questions, you need to put the brakes on and focus on giving yourself a little love.

1. Do you take time to shave your legs only when a pair of hedge clippers could get the job done?

2. Does the term "fixing your hair" refer to a ponytail and a rubber band?

3. Typically, would you leave the last cup of yogurt in the fridge so that someone else in your family could have it, even though you are craving a cup of yogurt?

4. Do you stand over the kitchen sink while eating?

5. Do you make a separate meal for each family member because you know that all of them will not eat the same thing?

6. Does your beauty regimen consist of a mere bar of soap?

7. Is there a class or activity you wish to take but cannot because you are obligated to other people's schedules?

8. Are granny-panties your preferred undergarment?

9. Are your fingernails well-manicured or ragged and uneven because you were out pulling weeds in the yard?

10. Are your clothes plucked off the racks at retail super centers while your kids wear the latest  fashion trends?

11. When was the last time you bought a new pair of shoes?

Pass this quiz on to friends and see what they have to say. We hope that this quiz serves as a wake-up call for those who need it - - it was for us!

Avoid Poor Posture For A Younger Looking You

    Poor posture and a slumping stature do absolutely nothing to enhance your looks. Do you hunch over when you are seated? How about when you stand? Do your shoulders cave in while your chest sags? Discover the answer by reviewing your silhouette.

While driving around in your car, take an opportunity to test your posture when you are sitting at a red light. Simply turn your head toward the driver's window and look at the outline of your reflection in the window. Scary, isn't it?

Pull that chest up by lifting your chest and straightening your shoulders - - look how much better you look! In an instant, you no longer look like someone who dreads where they are going. Instead, you look happier and exude an aura of confidence.

Avoid sitting ram-rod straight, but rather concentrate on keeping your chin up and your shoulders over your hips. Research sitting techniques that include sitting with a rolled up towel or an ergonomic chair insert. Having good posture isn't just helpful for your spine and alignment, it's also beneficial to your appearance.

How to Get Rid of Facial Hair For Women

When women hit middle-age, body hair takes a freakish turn and goes away in places where it was once plentiful and grows in places where it was once sparse.

As a result, facial hair growth is of particular concern to many middle-aged women. When our hormone levels change, thanks to the onset of menopause, facial hair may increase. For some women, a tough sprig or two of hair may suddenly appear on previously barren areas of our face or neck. Additionally, some middle-aged women may experience a soft, downy coat of fine hair along their cheeks and chin.

Often, our facial hair is so light that is may only be noticed in direct sunlight. Spot unwanted hair using a 5x magnified hand-held mirror while looking at your face in mild sunlight. Turn your face left and right while inspecting your face.

If the amount of hair on your face concerns you, consider these options for removing facial hair for women:

1. Personal hair trimmers such as those by Clio are hand-held battery operated shavers that easily trim modest amounts of facial hair. Simply turn on the trimmer and gently stroke hair away against the direction hair is growing. No pain, no red marks on skin, just a smooth face. Pick up a personal hair trimmer next to the shaving cream at most stores, including Walgreens and CVS.

2. Threading is a hot trend for removing facial hair. Patrons recline in a chair while specialists wrap a long thread around their hands and quickly and tightly roll it over your facial hair, effectively pulling hair out. Works on eyebrows too. Search for a salon near you that does threading and yes, there is slight pain involved.

3. Facial hair remover kits  uses a spring mechanism to remove hair - also slight pain involved - but anything that rips your hair out is gonna hurt a little bit!

4. Hair removal cremes (depilatories)  such as Nair require that users wait for the creme's chemical action to kick in to remove hair. Purchase at various retail locations, including Walgreens and CVS.

5. Laser hair removal leads to a more permanent solution to unwanted hair, but can be costly and may not be entirely effective.

6. Waxing is another way to remove unwanted hair, especially on the area above the upper lip. Waxing strips can be applied to other areas of the face but the pain level is higher than other methods mentioned above.

Getting Teeth White is Important for Self-Esteem

   We middle-aged women need to be vigilant about keeping our teeth white to reflect an image of being healthy and vital.  As we get older, our teeth may become stained, discolored, or turn various shades of yellow - all of which make us look older than our years.There are several methods to consider when you wish to brighten your smile.

Visit a dentist to ask about Philips Zoom which is applied at your dentist's office using LED whitening technology -- a procedure similar to having your teeth lasered. This method is costly, however, averaging approx. $300 for a visit. The good news is that results last a long time.

Place whitening gels in dental trays and fit them over your teeth for slower results. A dentist will make a pair of custom trays to fit your teeth, yet this procedure is costly at approximately $150, with additional cost for the whitening gel.

Consider looking for various brands of teeth whitening dental trays at a pharmacy, Target or Wal-Mart stores instead of spending money at the dentist's office.

Use whitening strips, which may also remove stains from your teeth. There are many whitening strips to choose from, with some promising to lessen stains in 7 days while others promise results in 2 hours or less. The cost of whitening strips varies from $10 to $50, based on the product's effectiveness.

Choose toothpaste that purports to whiten teeth in addition to mouthwash that claims to help rid teeth of stains as every effort helps to ward off tooth discoloration. Additionally, keep your toothbrush in good shape and look into some of the electric toothbrushes such as Sonic, which claim to help keep teeth whiter than manual toothbrushes.

Sure, keeping teeth white is a lot of work, but a healthy, sparkling smile is certain to enhance your self-confidence, making all the work worthwhile. Now smile.

Best Hair Styles For Middle-Aged Women

There is nothing better than a great hairstyle for boosting a middle aged woman's confidence (or anyone's confidence, for that matter).  Choosing a great hairstyle for middle aged woman is really not that difficult.  Here's what you do:  Assess your hair.  Is is thin or thick?  Secondly, look at your jawline -- could it use a little camouflage?  Answer those two questions and select a great hairstyle for middle aged women from the lineup below.

The best hairstyles for middle aged women who retain fullness in their hair but need a longer hairstyle to draw attention away from their jawline, look great with hair length somewhere between their earlobe and shoulder.

Women with thinning or fine hair often find hair length between their earlobe and shoulder to be flattering as well.  However, layers are absolutely necessary to add depth to fine or thinning hair, regardless of length.

Super short hair styles with layers are well-suited to those who have thinning or fine hair, and are extra stunning when paired with a firm jawline or strong chin.    

Regardless, highlights are a must for middle aged women.  Here's why: Highlights act as a focal point, drawing attention away from the face entirely while enhancing the eyes.  Highlights add a modern, updated look to almost any hairstyle.

Look at the famous middle aged women pictured below (and those past middle age) for good examples of great hair styles for middle aged women.

   Actress and director Diane Keaton wears a long bob
with layers and chunky highlights.

 As an artistic person, Ms. Keaton changes her hair color and style often to keep things exciting.  She keeps her hair in the mid-length range and highlights it regardless of the style.

  Born in 1946, Ms. Keaton knows how to wear great hairstyles for middle aged women.  Also, look how much a smile can add to our appearance!



Actress Patricia Heaton, pictured below, wears her hair in a bland bob with bangs for her television role in "The Middle."  Note how fabulous Ms. Heaton's hair looks compared to that hairstyle with her longer, highlighted tresses and long, side-part bangs.

  Compare the two and decide which hairstyle best suits the wonderful, middle aged Ms. Heaton
.                                                                          

  If you've got a nice neck and a sharp silhouette, then short, fashion forward hairstyles may work for you as it does for actresses Annette Bening.


                                                                                             
Actress Kim Cattrall wears her fine hair a barely shoulder-skimming length with side bangs and lots of layers.  And yes, there are numerous highlights in there too!

      

Could You Support Yourself If You Had To?

     Because Ditch the Stretch Pants focuses on middle-aged women, we ask the question "Could you support yourself if you had to?" directly to the middle-aged woman demographic. However, a person of any age or gender may wish to consider the inquiry.

Simply put, answer the question, "Could  you support yourself if you had to?" Where would your income come from and could you maintain a comfortable and acceptable lifestyle if your spouse, employment situation or field of interest simply disappeared? These are questions that middle-aged women, in particular, must ask themselves.

As twenty somethings, middle-aged women of today may have followed a path that led them to college and a job that was secure and well-paid. On the other hand, women of the same era may have opted to become stay at home moms. Middle-aged women who have fulfilled their dream of raising kids may have particular difficulty acquiring an income, should the need arise.

SOLUTION: Never stop growing. 

The stone-cold fact is that middle-aged women need to have a plan for their financial security. Even if a spouse has arranged for his wife to receive life insurance benefits after his death, the payment amount may not be enough to handle ever-increasing expenses. Additionally, do not forget that infidelity or divorce can change everything at the drop of a hat.

As a result, middle-aged women need to continue to grow throughout their middle-life years and keep growing. Take classes that give you "certified" status in a field so that you will be considered a master of a marketable skill. Master Gardener programs are available through county extension offices for those who enjoy the outdoors, while community colleges offer certificates for dental assistants, doctor's office assistants and legal assistants.

Beef up, ladies, because in case the unthinkable happens, you need to be ready to hit the road well-prepared and marketable. 

Best Shoes For Women & Shoes To Never Wear!

   CLOGS-STYLE SHOES AND slip-on mules might be comfortable,  but we have a "bad news" flash for most women: Clogs and mules don't do a thing for our looks. This includes clogs or mules with high heels. Repeat after me, "No clogs or mules, regardless of their heel height."

"WHY," YOU ASK, "should high-heeled clogs be scratched off my list of shoes to try on?" The answer lies in a photo of actress Kate Beckinsale, who was born in 1973.
  Beckinsale, wearing high-heel clogs

ALTHOUGH SHE HAS OVER a decade to go, Ms. Beckinsale is not middle-aged, so she can get away with looking sassy in a pair of high-heeled clogs.

LET'S BE FRANK, as we older women teeter around on high heels, we tend to look as though we are about to fall over and break a hip. It's time to move on and wear shoes that are stylish as well as comfy.

MIDDLE-AGED WOMEN can be fashion-forward by wearing comfy shoes such as those from TOMS, which come in many colors, fabrics, and styles -- even WEDDING styles!  $50-80 at Whole Foods, Nordstrom and TOMS.com

IF YOU ARE NOT ready to give up wearing clogs and slip-on style mules, we will grant you a few months to reconsider.

IN THE MEANTIME, we beg you to avoid wearing the following shoe styles which are only going to further cement your status not middle-aged, but hopelessly unfashionable.

UNFLATTERING SHOES WOMEN SHOULD AVOID
... entirely

 These shoes scream "practical AND dull."

                                                                             CROCS, which create an absolutely hideous look for everyone, except children age 12 and under, are okay for us middle-aged gals to wear in the garden but we must ditch wearing them in public.

                     Need we say more?


                                            Classic or dated? Both...move along.
   WE ONCE OWNED a pair of these shoes and darn, they are comfortable. Coincidentally, not once did any living person give us a second glance when we wore them - - apparently, this shoe style gives you the power of invisibility.

                                                IS IT A BOOT? IS IT A SHOE? IT'S a BOOSH! There is never a reason to wear a "BOOSH", unless you need to wear shoes that keep you from slipping on smooth surfaces. Even so, slipping and dislocating an elbow might be preferable to being caught wearing a pair of these shoes.

ALWAYS Gloss Over It!

Middle-aged women like us are prone to drier skin than we had in our younger years. We can fight dry skin with topical lotions and by drinking lots of water, but we must not forget to keep our lips hydrated. 

Lip gloss is exactly what you need to have silky lips. Lip gloss will give your appearance a modern touch that shows you know how to wear makeup that is not dated. Apply lip gloss frequently, particularly if you are going out socially. Choose a shade close to your natural lip color or a clear gloss for best results.

Avoid excessively shiny lip gloss by selecting a lip gloss that is neither matte nor very thick. Keep an eye on ingredients and avoid those with cinnamon in them if you have a sensitivity to cinnamon. Many lip glosses created to "plump" your lips up contain cinnamon and can cause uncomfortable tingling of the lips.

PUCKER UP, LADIES!

Hair Color is The Elixir of Youth

If you remember Miss Clairol ads from the 1960's that asked "Does she...or doesn't she?" then you are likely one of "Us" -- a middle aged woman.

Coloring your hair is the number one way to keep your appearance fresh and modern. We can hear you groaning already. Yes, we know it is bothersome to apply hair dye but the rewards outweigh the disadvantages. If you disagree, by all means let nature take its course and revel in your luxuriant silver or grey hair and laugh at those of us who do indulge in tinting our hair. We are all sisters and can therefore agree to disagree.

Whether you tint your hair, frost, or highlight it, consider wearing a shade of hair color similar to what your natural hair color was in high school. As a result, you are likely to look more natural.

Color hair frequently enough that unmatched roots do not show (approx. every 4-6 weeks.) Pay a hair dresser to color your hair at  a salon for $30++, if you can afford it. If not, a box of hair color will set you back about $10 -- you are worth it!

Adding Bling to Your Look Will Help YOU Sparkle!

Just because we are middle-aged women does not mean that we must resort to wearing demure pearl necklaces and small earrings -- not that there's anything wrong with that. Adding bling revs up your appearance. Here are two favorite costume jewelry finds we love that women of a certain age can wear well.

HOOP EARRINGS add a fashionable look to any outfit and are fun to wear. Perhaps that is why hoop earrings have been found in such places as burial chambers in Egyptian pyramids. Select any size and shade of hooped earring you prefer. Rock those hoops!


MULTI-LAYERED BRACELETS dangling off one arm is a zesty choice for jazzing up your appearance. Try layering 3 bracelets of the same style and even same color OR mix it up and don't be afraid to get creative. By the way, larger women should opt for jewelry that is not overly chunky in style in order to minimize their size, while medium-sized or slender ladies may mix both chunky and slender jewelry together.

Sarah Jessica Parker is one of Us!

A Time For Everything

If you share our demographic of being a middle-aged woman, you too may have noticed that you have been wearing stretch pants quite often lately. Stretch pants can be any color, but generally they are black and somewhat snug, with wondrously forgiving fabric. Most often worn for exercising, stretch pants smooth flesh that may be less than toned and flex comfortably around the waist.

If you find that you are wearing stretch pants everywhere you go because you have no other pants in your closet that fit, or you are not up to the challenge of finding modern clothes to wear in your closet, you may have a problem. The problem is called "settling." Settling to look nondescript -- settling to be less than the fabulous you that it is possible to be.

We know all about "settling" because we have been there. Additionally, we have noticed that this particular type of settling is prevalent among women our age -- those in their middle-aged years.

This site is not about "stretch pants" but simply aims to help ease us out of our stretch pants into the modern era as we share ideas about how to live fabulous, vivacious lives in our middling years, how we can be both fashionable and comfortable (without wearing stretch pants.) Most of all, this site provides observations, tips and ideas about how women of "a certain age" can rediscover and exhibit their sense of savvy, humor and yes, style. After all, that is what being a middle-aged woman is all about!